I like taking photos and I like seeing cute animals.


Don't ya'll come stalking me and my hedgehog.
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i don't know how a life can turn out so different from how you always dreamed and imagined.

i don't know how i came to be here and like this. this isn't who i feel like i am, but maybe i can't help that, maybe it's how i am anyway and nothing i can do can change it. you can't change your whole self, can you? i want to change what people see. i always feel like i'm out of time when i know i'm not, i've just made it that way myself. i could do everything, maybe be anyone i want, i'm just not brave enough.

i'm not brave. i just ran away from something twenty minutes ago. i'm scared of so many things. i'm scared of doing what i want and it's not what i thought at all and at the same time i'm scared of never doing what i want and i'm scared of leaving people out and i'm scared of being left out and getting older and mainly just the future.

i feel like telling the truth lately. i don't think anybody would, but if you want me to answer a question about anything at all, ask. anonymous commenting is on, ip logging is off.

this song has been stuck in my head. i don't actually watch youtube videos before i post them so hopefully this is it.


sorry i'm just bitching and moaning but that's what's in my head

Way to delete when I have a six hour gap between lectures and was expecting some entertainment, anon.

THESE COMPUTERS DON'T EVEN HAVE AIM. I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT MY LAPTOP IN TODAY.

Other things: I need to start exercising again so I am going for a big old walk tonight. I wish I had nice exercising clothes but I am toooooo pooooorrrrrr.

Arrrggghhhhh I don't know if I like university that much, I don't think so.

And I'm really worried about someone. But I'm no good at being the worried person. I don't even know if I should go and visit her or not.

sndnfgdsgbrehjdnfgdsncdjajnfla. :(







In other news my mums txting has become more and more unusual. Yesterday I got one saying "irotfl" (I'm rolling on the floor laughing) and today I got one which said hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaargh which just sounds like somebody laughing and then choking on something and dying.

I think I miss my friends and I miss a time and funnily enough I miss the place.

I wonder if I should ask my gay buddy if he wants to go into town some saturday soon? I think I want to dance with a random cutie, and so far I haven't been let down in the clubs.

I kind of want to just sit in a bar alone though.

Maybe I should learn how to drive.

Maybe I should start planning my adventure?

Hey friends list.

So I think I saw myself thirty years in the future the other day. At work. Well okay maybe like fifteen years. It was this lady, and she was with her husband or whatever. She spoke exactly like me. Same sarcastic monotone. Same lame jokes that people still laugh at, probably to be polite. It was bizarre. She needed her roots dyed. The guy she was with was okay looking though, I mean I guess that's my future husband. He was alright. He was pretty much the male version of her. Maybe more like the straight man. I dunno. It was weird, okay?

Anyway so really I wanted to ask you guys this:
Should I go to NYC in the summer or the winter?
To be honest I kinda want to go in the winter, what with the whole white christmas thing. And it would give me more time to save up for it.

But at the same time, I don't really wanna be away from home for christmas, I will probably end up drunk and crying or something. Also, I want to go NOW. Which means I want to go ASAP.

So anyway, decide my life for me please. I mean either way I'm gonna have to take out a loan to go. I guess one will just be a bigger loan. Whatever!

Annabelleybooboohead.

Actually I completely forgot when I made that post last night that my cousin is missing. Not a little kid cousin, all my cousins are a lot older than me but he's the oldest, I think he's just a little younger than my mum, and he has five kids, three about my age. Apparently he disappears for a few days at a time pretty regularly but he's been gone for nearly two weeks now and he left his credit card and wallet and stuff at home. Also I think he's due in court today for drink driving, so we'll see if he shows up or not.

I guess I didn't think about it last night because I've only seen him two times that I can remember, but both times were pretty recently and he seemed like a really nice guy. And my mum is pretty upset because when they were kids they were like best friends. She doesn't see him now really. It's sad though, I hope he's okay.

My life is so drama free compared to my flist. Sometimes I feel bad for having nothing bad going on in my life but I guess it's because I'm a pretty boring person, so maybe that is the bad thing about me.

These are my worries (in worrying order):
- Getting pretty fat
- English test soon

The end!

hey guys i herd i like anon so i put anon in my lj so you can anon while you fuck this isn't going to work at all can you guys just fucking post some anon comments or whatever idk just say what you want to say you could say i like beans if you want i like beans sometimes not really a lot of the time just once in a while you know especially since sometimes i get a bit weirded out by baked beans since theyre just beans in tomato sauce and im not so much of a fan of tomato sauce ever since i went to my frenemies house and her whole family drowned all their food in tomato sauce it is probably the most unappetising oh hello spellcheck have i mentioned i hate you for trying to replace all my ss with zs and all my ous with just os also what do you know anyway spellcheck is so one word maybe you could anonly comment about how you think spellcheck is one word i would say it is definitely one word and if you dont say that well then maybe we shouldnt even be friends

shit.

Guys apparently I don't know how to turn off ip logging so you can be truly honest about your like/dislike for beans and/or your agreement/disagreement on zpellcheck being one word.

HOW INTERNET WORK?
HOW TURN OFF IP LOGGING?

Well, sweetgonzotooth/Courtenay made me realise I haven't really talked about myself lately, so here's what's going on with me.

All my friends have moved away.
Okay, obviously not all of them. But a lot. My best friend Charlotte has gone to Australia with her boyfriend Corey to work for a year. A bit before that, a friend of mine who I didn't see that much any more went over there for a dance school. Marlene and Megan left on Saturday for Otago. Kelsey left a few days after them for the same place. Mitch is down there too. So, from my close group of friends from college, I'm left with Nikki and Chloe going to the same uni as me. Our really close group was Me, Charlotte, Marlene and Nikki. It feels so weird not being together every day. And tbh, Nikki was probably the one I was least closest too, and she's the one who's still here. Maybe we'll get closer though! Chloe is fun, but...sometimes she's a bit OTT. It's strange - she's this bizarre combination of high pitched screaming and incredibly low self confidence. Idgi.

Anyway, I hope I make some good friends at uni. I guess 50% of them will be asian, considering the classes I'm taking, but hey, no problems there! I might just feel a little pale in class. What am I talking about, I'm pale compared to everyone on the planet ever.

*Actually that reminds me. I had the best night at work on Tuesday ohhhh man. So, there's this duty manager who I noticed was cute a couple of shifts ago (I think he only works that shift every once in a while, because I think I didn't see him for ages), but I didn't really think about it much. But this Tuesday? I don't think I even worked. I think I just showed up to the supermarket for five hours of continuous flirting. It was surprising because usually I am not even good at flirting! But we made each other laugh so much, it made work so much more fun than usual. And I'm kinda sure it wasn't just me...it looks so stupid written down, but at one point he just looked back and me and said "You're so charming" and I got so embarrassed, I instantly changed the subject, hahaha!

The bummer?

He's taking the next four weeks off work.

BOOO.

Oh shit, it's nearly 1:30am and I have to get up at like 8:30! Fuccckkk.

- Annabelle.

*It reminded me because he kept mocking me about my lack of a tan.

Stolen from tv_on_mute who is a lovely drunk. Mike, I'm sure you'll be pleased at the amount of a certain band.

Step 1: Put your iTunes on random.
Step 2: Post the first line from the first 15 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing the song.
Step 3: Let everyone guess what song and artist the lines come from.
Step 4: Bold the songs when someone guesses correctly.
Step 5: Looking them up on Google or any other search engine is CHEATING!

1. And you're rushing headlong, you got a new goal.
2. If you're searching out for something, don't try so hard.
3. I know I stand in line until you think you have the time to spend an evening with me.
4. I was born to love you, with every single beat of my heart.
5. Bombs going off in Sierra Leone, taken more shots than Karl Malone.
6. And I can see you movin all the time, and I can see you stumbling on the line.
7. Her green plastic watering can for a fake Chinese rubber plant in fake plastic earth.
8. BELIEVE IT NOT GEORGE ISN'T AT HOME, PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE AT THE BEEP.
9. In sleep he sang to me, in dreams he came.
10. Someone told me long ago, there's a calm before the storm.
11. Deep inside of a parallel universe it's getting harder and harder to tell what came first.
12. In Penny Lane there is a barber sharing photographs of every head he's had the pleasure to have know.
13. Running from the nightmare in the middle of the road, Hell's no place for sleeping in a world beyond control.
14. Passing by you light up my darkest skies, you'll take only seconds to draw me in.
15. You say that we've got nothing in common, no common ground to start from and we're falling apart.

I'm not gonna lie, this pretty much encompasses my brilliant taste in music.

Mememememememememememe.

Memes.

Comment to this post and I'll reply with a letter. Then post 10 things you love that start with that letter. [info]playedinloops gave me the letter L, so here are some things in no particular order!

10. Livejournal (duh!)
9. Languages
8. Learning new things
7. Literature
6. Lollies
5. Little House on the Prairie (IT'S CUTE OKAY)
4. Lenny Kravitz
3. Life (I meant in general, but actually I really like the TV show too)
2. Live shows (musicals, bands, ballet whathaveyou)
1. Laughing

Comment to this post and I will give you 5 subjects/things I associate you with. Then post this in your LJ and elaborate on the subjects given.

-New Zealand: Where I live! I love NZ, and I wouldn't want to have grown up anywhere else in the world. Some of my favourite memories growing up seem just so kiwi. I guess, even though I'm young, stuff has still changed a lot from when I was a kid. I look over the fence, up the top of the hill, where there used to be fields full of sheep, and a horse, and one time we saw a guy playing the bagpipes up there and we waved and he gave us the finger. Now there are $600,000 houses up there. When they were building them, I went up to have a look, and went down a path to where a house was about to be built. I found a trampoline! It was such a good find.

It is my sincere opinion that anybody who is great should come and live here.

-Red hair: Having red hair is strange sometimes. All the old ladies love it though. What is it with them? When I was a kid I pretended to hate the colour of my hair, but secretly I liked it! Also I secretly hated the Spice Girls, but I wanted to be cool so I said I loved them and that Ginger Spice was my favourite! I lied a lot. Sometimes I like having red hair because it makes people awkward. Someone will make a ginger joke, and then they'll realise I'm there. "Oh, um, sorry...Annabelle...uhhh..."

I am always too busy laughing at the joke though.

-Eve 6: I'm a rabid Eve 6 fan! Well, not really. I do really like them though! I have Horrorscope and It's All In Your Head on my ipod. I recently put their album Eve 6 on there too but I haven't listened to it yet. I only really got into them at the start of 2008, but I listened to them a lot walking to and from school that year. I think I borrowed Horrorscope from my brother because I thought the cover looked cool. Some of my favourite Eve 6 songs are Enemy, Nightmare, At Least We're Dreaming, Good Lives, and Bring The Night On.

-"Uni": I still can't wait for it to start! This week is O Week (orientation week), which should be good, because I might actually start to realise where everything is in there! I'm taking seven papers this year: Chinese 1A, Chinese 1B (Even though I've been learning chinese for about four years, I decided to start at beginers level because I can't read or write it!), Japanese 1A, Japanese 1B, How To Read Stories (English paper), Narrative Structure (English paper), and Linguistics 101. I actually plan for my BA to be a double major in Chinese and Second Language Education, but SLE doesn't start until year two. So I'm mucking about giving Japanese a go, and English because I used to be good at it, and I need something other than just Chinese if I decide to get a diploma or degree in Teaching. Which I plan to...later on.

-TQC: TQC has been my ultimate boredom buster these summer holidays. I've gone through a few stages these holidays - TQC 24/7, Work 24/7, Hawaii 24/7, Sleep and TQC 24/7, and now I'm onto Seeing Friends 24/7. I hope when I start up uni I'm not too busy studying, working and socialising that I don't have any time for TQC and anon, because they are just really fun little distractions in my spare time. And you meet cool people there!


a. Reply to this post and I'll assign you a letter.
b. List (and upload, if you feel like it) 5 songs that start with that letter.
c. Post them to your journal with these instructions.

1. Let's Go Crazy - Prince and the Revolution
2. Let It Be - The Beatles
3. Look Alive - Incubus
4. Looking For The Sun - Children's Hour
5. Like A Stone - Chris Cornell

(Also I should have the pics up from the pics meme tomorrow or something!)

Ask me to take a picture of any aspect of my life that you're interested in - it can be anything from the house I live in to my favorite shoes. Leave your choice here as a comment, and I will reciprocate by taking the pictures and posting them as an LJ entry. That way you get to know a little bit about my life, if you're remotely interested in it.

I've got another meme I haven't finished yet. And some other things I mean to post but I don't get the posts finished so there are all these unfinished posts which I've set to private. Awesome!

I accidentally forgot to take a photo and then I accidentally forgot to take about five more photos so now I am not so much doing project 365. Who saw this coming, raise your hand!

I saw some thing in a friends journal where you post your favourite poem and then when you guys read this you have to post your favourite poem. I am paraphasing but I am making it longer. It is not a good paraphrase, I admit.

Here is my favourite poem.

Lay your sleeping head, my love,
Human on my faithless arm;
Time and fevers burn away
Individual beauty from
Thoughtful children, and the grave
Proves the child ephemeral:
But in my arms till break of day
Let the living creature lie,
Mortal, guilty, but to me
The entirely beautiful.

Soul and body have no bounds:
To lovers as they lie upon
Her tolerant enchanted slope
In their ordinary swoon,
Grave the vision Venus sends
Of supernatural sympathy,
Universal love and hope;
While an abstract insight wakes
Among the glaciers and the rocks
The hermit's sensual ecstasy.

Certainty, fidelity
On the stroke of midnight pass
Like vibrations of a bell,
And fashionable madmen raise
Their pedantic boring cry:
Every farthing of the cost,
All the dreaded cards foretell,
Shall be paid, but from this night
Not a whisper, not a thought,
Not a kiss nor look be lost.

Beauty, midnight, vision dies:
Let the winds of dawn that blow
Softly round your dreaming head
Such a day of sweetness show
Eye and knocking heart may bless,
Find the mortal world enough;
Noons of dryness see you fed
By the involuntary powers,
Nights of insult let you pass
Watched by every human love.

-- W.H.Auden

I think I am going to do this fancy pants Project 365 business! I only just looked it up, it seems pretty okily dokily so I guess I'll give it a go! I think I will start on the first of February. I like to start things on the first of things. That is how it must be.

I can't shake the feeling that maybe I'm doing this all wrong and maybe I should have taken a year off to explore the world and life and myself. I can't shake it. I want to go and wade through the snow and stand by waterfalls and watch orange leaves float. I can't help but look up the prices of airline tickets to different countries almost every night. I know I don't have the money and in the end I'd be too scared, but I do it anyway! I shouldn't have thought about saving to run. It's planted this seed in my mind, the only way I'm going to be able to do this.

Also I remembered I'll be getting a tax refund sooner or later. It really pisses me off to see that I've lost over $1,000 in tax. I hate you, whoever is taking my money. Anyway, my tax refund will probably just pay for my textbooks. Well, maybe not even all of them. I hate you, expensive textbooks.

Not that I've actually finished enrolling into uni yet. They keep sending me these emails. At first they were kinda friendly.
Hey Annabelle!
Just to let you know, to finish enrolling you have to send us a copy of your birth certificate and/or passport so we know you're not a crazy liar!
Kthnx!
Uni.

Now it's more like
Hey you
If you want to come here, send us all that document stuff so we know you're not a lying whore.
Whatever
Uni.

I'm too lazy and confused to send it to them so I just keep getting their less enthusiastic emails, and ignoring them. Then they get buried under my pile of lj notification emails anyway. Also there are some emails in there from a place where I ordered my brothers christmas present for, and they keep emailing me saying "It's in stock now but we haven't sent it because there was a failure" and it's not like I can email them back being all "The failure was that I don't have any money, hang on you guys" so I just don't do anything. And there's a chinese girl who I sent like two pen pal emails to and then I forgot about her.

I think after I pay for uni and pay my mum back for that jacket I got in Hawaii (thanks a lot NZD, since you went down to .51 it's gonna be way more) I might start putting my money towards escaping.

Which kinda blows cause I thought I might be able to spend it on clothes and shit for once.

 - Annabelle.

P.S. Post about Hawaii some other time.
P.P.S My ex crush is setting up some group outing to the races, it's on some day that I work but I might be able to go for the day part. I work the shittiest nights. When am I going to be able to go into town? I have to get a night off some time or I'll explode. Not that I didn't just have two weeks off or anything.

Sometimes I just wish Mia would suck it up and go with Michael, and that Christine would forget about the Phantom killing all those people and make out with him, and that Scarlett would realise how hot Rhett is and start being nice to him.

I'm in a weird mood today. I think it is because I had a dream about my old old ex. But I don't know if it was really him, you know? Or if it was just his face. And someone else's personality. I don't know. Sometimes I wake up from dreams like that and I get this feeling in my stomach and I don't know what to do or how to get rid of it, or maybe even if I want to get rid of it. I wonder how he is. I hope he's okay. I want to run away again, by myself, and have an adventure. I have the money, but I am too sensible. Maybe I should start saving to run.

I wish university would start already. I need to meet some new people.

I'll post about my trip some other time.

So I burnt my hand on the oven the other day, and it's left this weird pink mark. I don't like that. Like my hand isn't gross enough from all the dry skin! Ew. Sorry.

There was some party on last night and I didn't go because I'm starting to develope a huge grudge against the girl who was throwing it. This is mostly because she goes out with this guy I had a big old crush in (there is a picture of him in my 2008 post, he is the one posing with Kahu, the guy with the black eye, at another party). Anyway, he wouldn't even know who she was if it wasn't for me, and also WHY DO PEOPLE LIKE HER SO MUCH ANYWAY. Grr. I mean, I can see three downsides to her:
1. Abnormally shiny face.
2. In history, the teacher would ask her a question, and if she didn't know the answer she'd just stand up and walk out.
3. SHE DANCES REALLY WEIRD

Anyway, so I stayed home like an antisocial bitch because I knew it was just going to be all the same guys I've been seeing at school for the last five years, and it would be that guy and shiny-face grinding up against each other all night. So instead I watched Sweeney Todd, which I got for christmas, with my brothers. It was really good! I enjoyed it more than I thought I would (I didn't think the singing was going to be very good).

I am thinking of making some sort of video post, or VLOG as I believe they may be called in the biz, but who knows.

I am getting all kinds of bitchy and depressed thinking about that stupid guy! Next year better be full of hotties or something.

- Annabelle.